Is it better to have loved and lost, rather than never loved at all? or is there something more at risk

      Life has its many lessons and not all of them are easy to take on for we don't choose the hand we are dealt. This year I sat out to make it a year of change which meant changing aspects of my life I was not a fan of, that were unhealthy. At the beginning of the year I caught my now ex cheating which turned out to be a real wake up call as to who I really was.
      New to the D.C. area as of almost five years ago I came out here for my ex but found myself while I was here. This year I've made changes one for both mental and physical health; overall lifestyle. I have a shot at a life time for a long desired career in which I have a contingent letter of employment with a police department, a dream since childhood next to vet school. Why a police officer for a long lost friend that passed away many years ago. The second reason to get people off the streets like demons in my past, to make this place safer for our generation and those to come, to help victims of domestic violence cope with what happened to them and show them it wasn't there fault. The other thing that happened it only took two blown discs in my lower back but I dropped over a hundred pounds, and I finally have accepted my true self. Something for some of us is extremely hard to do.
      Months ago in the accepting of my true self I met someone that made me believe in something I never thought I would, love at first site. For I will always love her and want something more than her friendship, these past few weeks I have expressed my feelings and been completely open and honest with her. For that it put something at risk more valuable than a mate, a friendship. Friendships are like gold and nothing is more precious than that with the exception of family. Hours of fighting yesterday with her and we both came to an understanding that A) we suck at communication which got us to this point and B) We need to talk and express what is on our minds. She made a promise that she would start communicating and actually talking to me with whats going on. I made a promise that I would continue to be open and honest with her, but do better in putting my feelings aside for the greater good of the friendship. I won't apologize for my feelings but rather just want my friend back for Shes an awesome person and the best thing to ever come into my life.
       So lesson sometimes putting something aside to save something more valuable is difficult but a chance to start over is priceless.