After three years of hard work and dedication I was finally in the police academy going after one of the top things on my bucket list becoming a police officer. I was eight weeks into my academy I had a close relationship with my classmates and advisors; still pretty much do have that bond for we were becoming part of the large family of Baltimore police officers. It was the first week of January a typical Thursday morning with no warning signs that anything was wrong and one week prior to us going to * EVOC in the middle of warm ups I collapsed. At which point I was transported to the hospital for what the on site EMT's thought was a collapsed lung or potential stroke based upon my symptoms. After spending 24hrs in the hospital still no answers to explain what was going on or what had happened. A week of feeling almost back to normal and downhill my health began to go. Two weeks of doctors appointments still no answers until the Sunday at the end of January I drove myself to Urgent Care in Reston VA. an x-ray and a CT Scan revealed legions on my spin, a large mass in my abdomen, and there it was the word Cancer. Cancer a word no one wishes to hear for it depending upon the person means life or death. I lay there with tears, for the first time I actually wanted my mother there a call I never thought I would make at least not that soon.
Its been a few months and I admit at times it has been a challenge for my diagnoses has resulted in me moving back in with my parents. I've been working and supporting myself basically since I was fifteen, a strong independent individual capable of dealing with just about any situation and too proud to ask for help. My pride is often my drive to succeed in life but also my downfall. Cancer I openly admit was scary to hear at first but accepting it has shown me that its time to slowdown and start experiencing life for real. I've been told for years that I work to much and never take the time out for myself something that is going to change upon my return to Baltimore. I also have another shot at the academy this time with basically all the gear but what is in my locker at school, the matching water bottle, matching pens, and hopefully time to prepare physically I'll be set to go. My dream job and a chance to have a new out look on life one day at a time.
I've been very blessed with the support of my friends and family who've helped me get through this thus so far. I couldn't have asked for a better support system in my corner as continue on with my treatments. The past couple of weeks with my confinement to the house the lack of my independence has gotten the best of me and I find myself hyper sensitive and emotional. For the first time since I could remember even though I have a job when I get back I'm currently not working and haven't done so since the end of January. Not having my own source of income to pay my bills, to provide for myself sets my mind at unease. To that the stress this has placed upon everyone having cancer, the major life changes its brought on due to not knowing what tomorrow will bring its been very frustrating. In my frustrations I've lost sight of the blessings I've been fortunate enough to have in my life. My limitations placed upon me by my parents and my illness are hard to deal with and not having an escape or get away makes it even harder. These past couple of weeks I've struggled to fight but I know I cant give up. I have to many people counting on me to get through this and to many things in life I want to experience before I take that final leap.
Its been a few months and I admit at times it has been a challenge for my diagnoses has resulted in me moving back in with my parents. I've been working and supporting myself basically since I was fifteen, a strong independent individual capable of dealing with just about any situation and too proud to ask for help. My pride is often my drive to succeed in life but also my downfall. Cancer I openly admit was scary to hear at first but accepting it has shown me that its time to slowdown and start experiencing life for real. I've been told for years that I work to much and never take the time out for myself something that is going to change upon my return to Baltimore. I also have another shot at the academy this time with basically all the gear but what is in my locker at school, the matching water bottle, matching pens, and hopefully time to prepare physically I'll be set to go. My dream job and a chance to have a new out look on life one day at a time.
I've been very blessed with the support of my friends and family who've helped me get through this thus so far. I couldn't have asked for a better support system in my corner as continue on with my treatments. The past couple of weeks with my confinement to the house the lack of my independence has gotten the best of me and I find myself hyper sensitive and emotional. For the first time since I could remember even though I have a job when I get back I'm currently not working and haven't done so since the end of January. Not having my own source of income to pay my bills, to provide for myself sets my mind at unease. To that the stress this has placed upon everyone having cancer, the major life changes its brought on due to not knowing what tomorrow will bring its been very frustrating. In my frustrations I've lost sight of the blessings I've been fortunate enough to have in my life. My limitations placed upon me by my parents and my illness are hard to deal with and not having an escape or get away makes it even harder. These past couple of weeks I've struggled to fight but I know I cant give up. I have to many people counting on me to get through this and to many things in life I want to experience before I take that final leap.
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